i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You're like the curious george of whores
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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