People with herpes should wear stickers.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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