belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
