I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
