This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
