Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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