wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The Olympian is in my bed
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
