I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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