her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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