I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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