I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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