and you said cock pushups were impossible
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
