its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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