i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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