I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just want to make out with him forever
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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