I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
