STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
