she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
