Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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