bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
