I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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