You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
