It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
