you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Found the puke drawer
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
