She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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