Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
