remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
