Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
