You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
