Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
