So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize