He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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