I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
