She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I had to cum in my sink.
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