I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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