im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
