VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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