Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
