he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
