Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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