Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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