OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dignity is for republicans.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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