The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Come share oat with me in your robe
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
