I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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