lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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