He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
