My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
