Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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