Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
