They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
