i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
