turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
