Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
