there was a trapeze. enough said
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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