This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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