You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
