why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
