The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize