i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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