In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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