DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
