There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize