Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
