Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
